


Housewrecking Party

by MasochisticHero



Category: Purple Hyacinth (Webcomic)
Genre: Comedy, F/M, Was supposed to be a drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:08:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24973612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MasochisticHero/pseuds/MasochisticHero
Summary: Kym and Will visits the house of the newest addition to the precinct. And there, they find the secret life he's been hiding."OPEN UP, IT'S THE POLICE!"
Relationships: Lauren Sinclair/Kieran White, William Hawkes/Kym Ladell
Comments: 5
Kudos: 129





	Housewrecking Party

**Author's Note:**

> No, this is not part of Impasse AUCanon. Wrote this within an hour, needed to get this scenario out of my head before I begin writing the next chapter of Impasse.

A loud banging on the front door woke Kieran up. He shifted from his position, carefully, as to not wake Lauren up, still sleeping peacefully in his arms.

Seven thirty in the morning, on a bloody Sunday morning.

Who would knock in like this?

He tried to think, but honestly, he just wasn’t in the mood to. He was too tired from last night; the infiltration, the talk, the sex. And frankly, he didn’t want to entertain whatever salesman was rapping at his door right now.

He rolled back to his bed and buried his face on Lauren’s bare back.

“OPEN UP, IT’S THE POLICE!”

Holy fucking crap, Kieran’s heart must have jumped out of his body.

Slipping his hand from under Lauren, he haphazardly threw in some trousers and hurriedly buttoned in a dress shirt.

Had someone reported that he was the Hyacinth? Had someone found out that he was Lune? Were they going to search his apartment?

There was nothing suspicious here, so it would be prudent to entertain the officers. Even if they search every nook and cranny of his residence, they would find nothing. And behind his locked door?

Just remnants of the past.

* * *

“Kym, can you tell me why we are doing this?” William asked, still yawning. At five in the morning, Kym Ladell barged through his window and demanded that they cook something to take for a house warming party to the house of the newest addition to the precinct, archivist Kieran White.

Admittedly, even though she was annoying as hell, Will did enjoy their cooking session, minus the fact that she almost burned down the manor kitchen. He had to take over and show her how to cook.

“You’d make an amazing housewife _Williame_ ,” she had commended with awe.

“Shut up, you watermelon freak.”

That’s right, Kym made watermelon bacon and watermelon sandwich and-

“Well, _Williame_ , it’s because we are amazing officers, of course we welcome him with a housewarming!” Kym said exasperatedly, rolling her eyes as if her lieutenant just made a dumb comment.

“That’s not what a housewarming is.”

“Shush, my good sir, you will not bother me with trifling facts about the definition of words. OPEN UP, IT’S THE POLICE!” she screamed, banging loudly on the door.

After about ten seconds, the door flew open, and a very haggard archivist stepped out.

“Officers, what seems to be the-”

He stopped midsentence, seeing that it was only the lieutenant and the sergeant, both in civilian attires. The archivist seemingly relaxed, before alarm filled his eyes.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, his usual office tact gone. He attempted to barricade the door, preventing the two officers from entering.

Kym scrunched her face. “It’s just us, let us in.”

“How did you find my house?”

“Duh, it’s on the employee registration.”

“That’s a complete breach of privacy, and I’m sorry to ask you to leave but you are not wanted right now.”

William understood. The man looked like he had just woken up. His hair was shrivelled, his shirt was unbuttoned in all the wrong places, he haven’t even worn his glasses yet, and he had some hickeys on his neck-

Holdup.

A sly grin spread across Kym’s face. “Oh, I see, I see. Prude Mr. White actually is actually a player boy,” she smirked, slapping the lunchbox on her hand onto her superior’s open palms.

She wrestled with the archivist to get in. “Sergeant, I implore you to leave. You are trespassing.”

Kym gritted her teeth, trying to outmanoeuvre the archivist. “First of all, pretty boy, I am the law. And why the fuck is a bookworm like you so strong? Get out of the way Kieran White! It’s not like you’re hiding anything in there?”

“Of course not, ma’am!”

“It’s not like you’re the damned Hyacinth or Lune, so don’t be afraid of the police entering your house!”

William looked at them with a deadpanned expression as he watched the two fight in a deadlock. He slipped inside through their arms and sat on the sofa.

“What the-” they both said simultaneously.

* * *

Kieran did not like this, not one bit.

Never mind that he was actually both the Hyacinth and Lune.

But fuck him hard if they find out that Lauren was in his room right now, sleeping peacefully.

Hopefully she’d have common sense to stay there until this blew over.

“Come on, introduce us to your girlfriend,” Kym said gleefully as she stood up while Kieran was preparing plates for Kym’s ‘housewarming.’

“I don’t have a girlfriend,” he said with composure, eyeing the door to his bedroom.

Internally, he was panicking. Never in his entire life has he dreaded anything as much as this.

He turned off the stove and began carrying the pot to the dining table; when the wild sergeant suddenly bolted to the bedroom and slammed the door open.

“No, don’t-” he shouted, hastily dropping the pot on the dining table in an attempt to grab Kym. Instictively, William grabbed the steaming pot to save the food; he did, thankfully, but yelped loudly after burning his hands. Kieran tripped on the watermelons lying on the floor and fell flat to the ground.

And Kym stopped on her tracks, as if she unearthed a curse from the pits of the earth.

“I-”

* * *

Luaren tossed and turned around the bed, touching the warm part of the sheets where Kieran was last night. She was hoping that he’d be there when she woke up, but he wasn’t.

Was he the type to be shy in the morning after a night of intimacy?

Then she heard yelling and screaming right outside the bedroom. What was happening? Last night, he promised her that no one else knew of his address, so who were outside?

Her heart thumped at the idea of any of his Scythe acquaintances finding her in the bed of the Hyacinth, so she sat up, covering herself with his sheets, with the intention of changing clothes and jumping out of the window.

Suddenly the door burst open.

Lauren hastily covered her bare breasts, whipping her head to the door like a deer caught in headlights.

Her mouth dropped open as she saw Kym, her best friend, standing on the door, shocked.

She was aware how she looked like. Naked, messy bed hair, probably hickeys all over her neck-

“Kym-” Lauren began, standing up to reach out to Kym and threaten her into silence.

“I- I’M SORRY!” she slammed the door down.

Oh no, she wasn’t going anywhere! That loudmouth of hers was going to tell the entire precinct!

Lauren burst out the door, blankets draped around her body, and pulled Kym by the wrist, pinning her down on the assassin’s wooden floor.

“Now listen here Kym, I love you but if you tell anyone-”

A clatter of plates interrupted her, and she looked to the side, expecting to see Kieran, but it was-

“Will!”

He was looking aghast, mouth hung open either at seeing Lauren, seeing Lauren semi naked, seeing Lauren semi naked pinning down Kym, or all of the above.

What in god’s blazes was happening here? Her gaze darted to Kieran, who just frowned and shrugged. _Control your friends,_ she read his mouth.

She immediately collected herself and covered her very exposed breast.

“Well, this is awkward,” Kieran whistled, getting a fourth plate from his cupboard.

Lauren glared daggers at him. This was going to be very awkward indeed.

**Author's Note:**

> All characters of Purple Hyacinth belong to [Sophism](https://www.instagram.com/deadsophism/?hl=en) and [Ephemerys](https://www.instagram.com/ephemerys_ph/?hl=en).  
>    
> [Read Purple Hyacinth on Webtoons](https://www.webtoons.com/en/mystery/purple-hyacinth/list?title_no=1621&page=1)
> 
> [Official Purple Hyacinth Discord](https://discord.gg/DfkfTxD)


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